


Lacuna

by Reeeading



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, M/M, confused!Minghao, hurt!Junhui
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 06:43:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20774240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reeeading/pseuds/Reeeading
Summary: Minghao was a wonderer





	Lacuna

It had all started with these: a quiet place, a dark room, and _a question_.

It was all started by a whispered question; a silent and full of doubt one. A question Minghao almost missed as the sound from the movie sounded louder than Junhui’s soft breath against his chest — or maybe, Minghao was just being too comfortable to pay any more attention to his surroundings. 

They were all alone; bodies were mingling together under the same blanket as Minghao’s hand treaded over Junhui’s light hair. The light from the moving box made the only light source illuminating their faces. Members were all gone; leaving the dorm just for them and their privacy.

“Hao.” Junhui had started softly, eyes were everywhere but on him. Palm and ear were pressing down on Minghao’s chest instead as if he was trying to get his heart worked a little harder, beat a little louder, and drummed a little more erratically, Minghao didn’t even have time to think before a hum slipped past his lips.

“Do you think there’ll be a day when we can be just Junhui and Minghao? Someone not Seventeen’s Jun or Seventeen’s The8? Someone who are just… _us_?”

Really; the question was a whispered one, a _soft_ one, but nothing had ever rang louder in Minghao’s ears than that question. It was almost like a thunder striking him, he could only arch his brows, “What do you mean, Junhui? We are _us,_” he stated, shifting slightly in his place to accommodate his sudden need to see Junhui in the eyes. His serene face was morphing to a worried one following the lithest of fear clawing his back bone, bringing along with it some goose bumps after the weird question the older had decided to drop on him.

Yet, Junhui — the dropper —didn’t seem to share the same sentiment. Instead, Junhui only shook his head and sighed, pressing his now freezing hands down Minghao’s chest to push himself up.

An arm distance away sprawled between them before again Junhui whispered; face as sad as a sad face could have ever been, “No, you don’t understand, Haohao. Not that kind of us.” He turned on his heels.

Minghao was deserted alone in his confusion; all he could do being blinking his comically big eyes. Mind was running a thousand miles in circles; searching on what and when things could have gone wrong for Junhui to shot such a question.

** _He wondered. _ **

And a wonderer truly Minghao always was. Junhui had never once mentioned the question ever again, yet Minghao got a hard time letting it go. He played with ideas in his mind, twirled them around his fingertips, and swam all around his head from time to time; taking in Junhui’s smile, Junhui’s word, of Junhui’s action, and of Junhui as a_ whole _person he’s been staying next to.

At some point, as Minghao put his hand over Junhui’s thigh — within that one meaningless action hidden beneath the patronage of their fansign table — Minghao finally got his insight. He almost bounced, toppled the table all the while vibrating on his spot; unable to contain his excitement to quickly share his brilliant answer with Junhui.

But, _no_; had anyone forgotten Minghao was a wonderer?

Well, yeah; Minghao _was_ a wonderer. There was no subject to that very fact. The moment the fansign had ended and they got to stand up, Junhui immediately brushed his hand off. He turned on his heel and left for their vans without so much as a word for Minghao.

Junhui was seldom quiet. So, that alone was enough for Minghao to continue wondering instead of reaching. He started to look for places, for dates, for wonders. He played them all in his mind, twirled them around his fingers, and rewriting-revising scenarios he never even knew how to realize that he subconsciously planned a trip.

**_Xu Minghao_ was planning a trip for _Wen Junhui._**

And, once they got the long awaited day-offs, Minghao didn’t waste a breath to drag Junhui with him to board a plane to a small island; an island he supposed no one could have known them, an island where they could truly be free from prying eyes and unwanted attention. Minghao could barely control his grin all the way to their little trip.

The images and dreams he visioned of Junhui smiling and being basked under the orange glow of the sun etched strongly in the back of his mind; haunting him in every move he made. He was almost bursting the moment their plane had landed, giving them no time to catch as much as a single breathe before he dragged Junhui to the beach he’s seen way too often in his dream. Innocent heart’s loaded and swelled to its brim with hope.

Yet, as much as the sea glowed under the orange ray and as much as Minghao had played the scene over and over in his head, Junhui’s smile never came knocking on his face. Minghao was _this_ close to deflating if it wasn’t for the small smile breaking on Junhui’s face as the older crouched before the wave.

Cold water seeping in through his canvas shoes as Junhui got reminded once again of their reality — how Minghao wouldn’t have a single idea because _really_; the younger truly had always been the clueless one, the innocent one between them. Junhui ran his fingers over the water and felt it under his fingertips.

Minghao came following him not very long after, face bright and radiant as always. “We’re here, Junhui; a place where we can be us, where you can be just Junhui and I Minghao. You can rest here for a day.” He proclaimed, toothy smile rose on his face.

The salty breeze blew their hair. Minghao was staring at Junhui and so was the latter. For a while, the world revolved only around them. Yet, again, Junhui was the one who so had to break their moment. He smashed his glance, looking down on the cold water surrounding his feet instead; dark eyes being covered by long bangs.

The words he voiced out came out as another whisper as he laid a wider space between them. Another smile peeped on his face. “You still haven’t understood, Haohao.”

“W-what haven’t I understood, Junhui? We’re here, we’re finally here, Junhui. No one knows us here! You can forget Seventeen’s image for a day!” Minghao pestered; feet stepping forward.

Another smile broke and Minghao started to shudder. Junhui was being too deep inside his headspace; the water had reached his chest now.

“No, Minghao, we still can’t be _us_. Not here, not anywhere; nowhere.”

“Bu—”

“What do you think would happen if I was born _a_ _girl_, Haohao?”

“Wha- Jun-“

.

.

.

His head burst; pictures flying.

** **

** **

** **

** _Oh, a wonderer truly Minghao was._ **


End file.
